We all know a Beth. She's the one whose child crawled at five months, walked at eight months, potty trained at one and speaks three languages. Every milestone presents a competition, and she never holds her tongue when it comes to dispensing advice or chastising another mom for doing it all wrong. "Cloth diapers, vaccines, time-outs, formula? How could you?"
The one-upmanship and desire to outdo other moms amounts to "mompetition." It presents itself on the playground, at daycare, during playgroups, even at church. Valerie Stone Hawthorne uses her Mompetition blog and YouTube channel to show us how the mommy wars play out, and she's making us laugh not only at others but also at our neurotic selves.
Dr. Hawthorne holds a PhD in cancer biology and cell biology from the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. As a married stay-at-home mom of two-year-old twins in the Lone Star State, she is surrounded by everyday life, which amounts to her creative laboratory. The art and science – and the lighter side – of mommyhood take center stage in her hilarious animated vignettes. So what inspires Dr. Hawthorne? And whose advice does she appreciate? Learn more in this interview with Suite101.
Suite 101: Your first video Why You Just Can't Make Mom Friends launched a viral sensation. Why did you create that video? Who are you poking fun at?
Hawthorne: I was simply tired of motherhood competition. No one person is Beth in particular. She is just an abstract and extreme embodiment that some of us have run into from time to time.
Suite 101: In what ways does motherhood match and differ from the expectations you had before kiddos? Did the mompetition aspect take you by surprise?
Hawthorne: It definitely lived up to the hard work aspect that everyone warned me about, but I was never prepared for the isolation. Motherhood can be a lonely place, even though you are surrounded by your child(ren) and other people constantly. It did shock me how fickle your best supporters can be.
Suite 101: You poke fun at overprotective, hyper-prepared mommies. But what about the other extreme: the super laid back mom who leaves the house without a diaper bag and nothing for her kids to eat or drink? Meanwhile, said kids are jabbing others with sticks, stealing our children's sippy cups (transmitting their diseases) and munching dropped Cheerios in the mud while their parents look the other way. Why do they get a break?
Hawthorne: Being laid back is an excellent way to parent in my opinion; however raising rude, undisciplined children is not mutually exclusive to being laid back. I've met plenty of uptight moms who have children that poke sticks and steal sippy cups. My focus is more on moms' behavior and less on child behavior. Children are unpredictable and irrational. Moms have no excuse.
Suite 101: We live in a world where technology allows us to brag on our kids and act as our own p.r. reps. How do you think social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter affect the mommy wars? Have they ramped up our competitive ways or are parents just this competitive by nature?
Hawthorne: I feel they ramp it up. "You're potty training? I did that a month ago."
Suite 101: Any plans to portray Tiger Mother Amy Chua in a Mompetition video?
Hawthorne: Not at this moment. I don't like bashing people directly. It's not very fair. However, if she wanted to write one with me, I'd love it.
Suite 101: What advice do you have for dadversaries (stay-at-home dads caught up in this madness)?
Hawthorne: Stay away from Beth.
Suite 101: How do you meet friends?
Hawthorne: Friends?
Suite 101: What are some helpful parenting resources you rely on?
Hawthorne: It's cliché, but I love SuperNanny. But my main source is my own gut.
Suite 101: What's the best piece of parenting advice you've received and from whom?
Hawthorne: My friend Trisha told me to lower my expectations. Best advice to anyone.
Suite 101: What can fans expect from you in the future?
Hawthorne: More snark.
Tricia Masenthin - Tricia Masenthin is a freelance journalist and blogger.
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