For decades, child development experts and parents have argued the benefits of routines. Predictable schedules provide children with a road map for each day. Established routines for chores, hygiene, meals and bedtime help foster security with consistency. Knowing what to expect throughout the day also can decrease anxiety among kids and their parents.
Taking a Break From the Office Could Affect Everyone's Schedule
Not every family travels during vacation. Holidays and an occasional day or two off provide parents who work outside the home an opportunity to spend more time with family members. So what happens to a stay-at-home parent’s established schedule and routines when a co-parent takes time off from work? With some foresight, families can enjoy additional time together without sacrificing the kids’ need for a routine.
Make Goals Before Vacation Begins
Communication is key. To get the most from a short break, co-parents should talk about each of their goals during the co-parent’s time off. Is sleeping in late on the agenda? Are there projects the parents want to complete together? Here are some other questions to consider:
- How much time will the parent who works outside the home spend with the children?
- Will the stay-at-home parent have free time while the parent who works outside the home cares for the children?
- How much time will the parent who works outside the home spend pursuing leisurely activities away from the rest of the family?
- How much time will the family spend together and will there be special activities planned such as outings to the museum, zoo or beach?
Ignoring Routines Could Have Negative Consequences
Taking time off from work should be an enjoyable, relaxing experience. Upsetting the entire dynamics of a household, however, will not make pleasant family memories. While it might seem tempting to take a vacation from the clock altogether, ignoring established household schedules and routines could cause anxiety and crankiness among family members – parents and children alike.
Research Supports Benefits of Family Routines
In a review of 50 years’ worth of research about family routines and rituals, researchers at Syracuse University found that family routines are “powerful organizers of family life that offer stability during times of stress and transition.” In addition, the review cited studies that showed children with predictable routines during infancy and preschool are healthier and their behavior is "better regulated."
Published in 2002, the review's authors also found that “studies show the repetitive nature of the family mealtime allows families to get to know each other better, which can lead to better parenting, healthier children and improved academic performance.”
Parents should talk beforehand how the vacation will temporarily alter the family’s schedule. They should discuss which routines they’re willing to set aside for a day or two and which routines should be maintained. Adjustments to mealtime routines and sleep schedules often present the most jarring changes for children. Taking a temporary break from a schedule won't permanently damage children, but do let the kids know what to expect.
Remember to Remain Flexible and Keep Communication Open
A co-parent's much-needed break from the office can throw a wrench into a stay-at-home parent's schedule. Parents should discuss beforehand their goals and which routines they're willing to temporarily adjust. Above all, parents must exercise flexibility. Parents who work at home learn to master the art of executing back-up plans due to the often-unpredictable nature of raising children. If veering off the beaten path causes too much irritability, adapt accordingly.
Find this article useful? Read also Tips for Successful Co-Parenting.
Reference:
Fiese, Barbara H., Tim Baker, Michael Douglas, Kimberly Josephs, Scott Poltrock, and Thomas J. Tomcho. "A Review of 50 Years of Research on Naturally Occurring Family Routines and Rituals: Cause for Celebration?" Journal of Family Psychology (2002): Vol. 16, No. 4.
Tricia Masenthin - Tricia Masenthin is a freelance journalist and blogger.
Join the Conversation